The Three-Letter Miracle

Hey folks!

How have you been? I keep asking this and no one responds! I want to hear from you! Please drop me a direct message @gro.wingtogether on Instagram, use the contact form on here to reach out or comment below. Tell me what’s going on with you, how you’re doing, your best post to-date, what action you’ve taken in line with our sharing here, etc. I look forward to hearing from you.

The past week was an interesting one for me. I was ill for a few days and had to be on prescribed medication which made me tired and sleep for more hours than usual. It was a drag but I’m so glad to be back on my feet! While recuperating, I experienced mind boggling kindness which reminded me of how blessed I am. I got a surprise ice cream pack delivered to my doorstep, the husband managed chores like a boss & played my resident physician amidst his busy work schedule, my girl drove across town to help me fulfill a long overdue project, my brother & sister checked in frequently, etc.  – amazing humans all around me. God bless you guys!

To the business of the day! In my superhero voice!! The three-letter miracle!

In 2019, I had the privilege of joining the video-cast of the annual Global Leadership Summit at my local church here in Lagos. I’m always pumped about this event because it’s packed with loads of insights on respective subjects and facilitated by global leaders. In my head, it’s one of the ways I start preparing myself for the new year. Yes, I start thinking, praying, and planning for the new year from the last quarter of the previous one. It’s something I learnt from an older friend and intentionally started practicing just last year. Let’s just say it’s fantastic and I would absolutely recommend it.

Okay back to our gist – so at the Summit, one of the speakers, Jia Jiang spoke about handling rejection and how he went on a 100-day challenge asking people for random things. Yes, he got quite an amount of no’s, but he got some Yesses to a couple of wild requests. What did this teach him? He said, “learning to handle rejection helps us take smarter risks”. Why is this relevant? Life is a risk! You must take some to achieve anything of significance. Today isn’t about risk taking but believe me; it’s something we must all get comfortable doing. I used to be risk averse but in my growth journey, I’ve found that growing means leaving your comfort zone and that in itself is a risk. 

So, why did Jia’s story resonate with me? It made me realize that I was afraid of rejection. I reckon I’m not alone here. Please don’t feel pressured to identify with me publicly; rather be brutally honest to think and admit this truth to yourself if it applies. This admission would help you step into the miracle of asking.

The word “ask” needs no definition, so I won’t bother with one. Interestingly, asking is almost second nature for us as children but as we get older; we lose the impetus to ask, perhaps because our Baby Boomer generation parents helped set us in line that asking didn’t mean we would get our request. LOL! As we get older, we also tend to believe we are more self-sufficient, capable, and resourced to meet our needs and can figure things out for ourselves. Dear independent one, while this may be true; I dare say that at the foundation of your “asking-free life campaign” is the fear of rejection. You could be low-key afraid of hearing the word NO because in some way – it makes you feel rejected, silly, incompetent, less desirable, etc.

News Flash! Don’t internalize the no – it’s simply a refusal to your request and not a rejection of your person! It could be due to a wide range of options – perhaps it’s not convenient for the person, he or she isn’t willing, able or resourced to meet your request at the time, doesn’t understand or agree with your proposition at the time, etc. Take it and move on! Move on to the next challenge and ask again. The individual doesn’t owe you an explanation of their refusal. Ask again; let nothing dampen your curious soul. There are so many benefits of asking and of course, I’ll share a few with you considering I’m also on this journey to shoot my shot!

One, asking reduces your chances of ignorance. When you ask questions seeking knowledge or clarification, you can tap into the abundant flows of wisdom that exist from people and systems around you.

Two, asking gives you access to resources. Your indication for more, will give you access to networks, communities and relationships that could benefit you far beyond cash in hand. Don’t ever feel ashamed to share with your friends your need for more in areas you are keen to learn about.

Three, asking enables you access support. This point is real; if you feel like no one offers to help you and you’re doing life alone or carrying so much on your own; it could be that that’s your posture. You will struggle to access help and support even if people are willing to offer it because you don’t ask. If you are struggling with something; please ask for help. Asking is not a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of self-awareness as to your limitations and weakness; and strength of character to accept support humbly and gracefully.

Let’s look at Achsah (Joshua 15:16-18); this lady knew her value as Caleb’s daughter. Her father was significantly influential and had been recently given an entire city (Joshua 15:13). She knew to ask specifically and strategically as it was in his power to give her what she desired. First, she asked for a field and when she saw it was in a dry area; she asked for springs of water and got two. She was visionary and strategic. First, she got a field (an economic resource) and then got springs of water (to resource her existing resource).

As you go out asking; be courageous:

1. Know your value. You’re the son and daughter of the Most-High God. Approach Him asking in faith and confidence that He can meet all your needs.
2. Acknowledge Him as your source. He will use who He desires.
3. Be humble! I can’t emphasize this enough.
4. Don’t be afraid to get a NO; it doesn’t define you.
5. Ask strategically – don’t focus on short-term pleasures. It presents you as shallow and immature; be clear as to what you want, your value proposition, why (your motive) and negotiate from a point of value. 

Go and ask – ask for that pay raise, ask for that internship, ask for that mentorship, ask for that promotion, ask for that explanation, ask for help and guidance. Dream big and ask for it!

As always,