Hola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you read that out loud? I hope you did so you could literally hear the excitement packed in those four letters. If you didn’t read that out loud, please go back and read it again; and this time hold that ‘a’ for 32 seconds as I have 32 exclamation marks!
Wow! I missed writing to you! In the last 3 weeks, I have written a new post for you over and over in my mind, but alas, my fingers did not arrive on my laptop. Honestly, in our Nigerian parlance, ‘my tired was tired’. It has been a demanding season but I’m grateful for His strength, His grace, helpers and a whole lot of support from friends and family. To everyone who reached out to check on me, I sincerely appreciate you. God bless you abundantly. I titled this blog post for myself! LOL! Welcome back to me!
So, I had a blog post prepared for you all in my mind and even penned down it in my journal, but as I sat to write this, I’m led to write as He leads. I trust it’ll come together to bless your heart. Alright, Holy Spirit, off we go!
So, it was my birthday and wedding anniversary last week on the 5th of May! Whoop! P.S: I’m still accepting gifts and messages till the end of June so please feel free to keep it coming. Okay, back to serious talk now. So, on this day, my husband and I couldn’t go out to dinner as we had planned, and couldn’t the next day, until the next evening. As we sat to discuss over dinner, he brought up how we had grown as a couple within the last year. Grown in our communication, faith, and many other ways. One key area of growth, I could immediately identify with was ‘letting go’.
You see, the old-me would have sulked about not going to dinner on our anniversary night as planned. I honestly never did well with sudden changes to my plans even before marriage. While I may not huff and puff like the big bad wolf or throw a tantrum, it would often throw me off balance. I would usually be disoriented, wondering what to do next, lose energy to do anything else, sulk, and even lament about what I had to trade off for this plan in the first place. When asked if I were alright with the change, I would be quick to reassure that I was and would immediately come up with creative excuses for my mood. But I knew in my heart that this one issue had a way of messing with me! Even when there was a ‘good, logical and evident’ reason to change plans, I would still feel a tinge of disappointment. However, when I planned, and executed to precision based on my own timelines and terms; there was just always a huge sense of pride and accomplishment. Like, I did it! I thought it through, and I accomplished it! Most times, I didn’t even need anyone to acknowledge me, I was just fine to glory in my effort, strategic thinking and accomplishment all by myself. Way to go, girl!
One day, I’m not even sure what year this was, God started to spotlight this issue in my heart. In my typical old naughty girl way, I looked the other way and carried on with my super-girl behaviour. One day, He called my attention to it. He was like ‘child, we can’t go around this subject anymore, it is high time we had a crucial conversation on this’. I knew I couldn’t get away with it anymore, so I responded defensively – stating how this approach to life ensured that I was productive and able to effectively manage my many priorities. I even thought He should be commending me for doing so well with my time; but to my utter astonishment, He was chastising me. He was calling my attention to see that this behaviour was a dimension of self and pride that I needed to die to. Let’s be clear here; I am not discouraging planning in any way, so please follow closely and hear me well.
I was like ‘Pride? Me? Lord? I’m not proud! Never! I’m humble! I am of a meek and lowly spirit! How can you say I’m proud?’
He showed me how everything was about me. It was about how I felt, what I wanted, when I wanted it, and how I did it. My desire, my time, my style, my pleasure, etc. There were just so many personal pronouns dangling all over the place, I couldn’t even deny anything, I was just quiet. And then He brought this verse to me.
“This is what the LORD says: “Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone: that they truly know me and understand that I am the LORD who demonstrates unfailing love and who brings justice and righteousness to the earth, and that I delight in these things. I, the LORD, have spoken!” (Jeremiah 9:23-24)
I was sober! I couldn’t dare to deny that I boasted and thrived in my ability to think through issues and execute them. I finally admitted I got a kick out of being in control; and it was messing with my ability to totally trust God. So, we began our adventure! Let me say here that this adventure is deep work! It involves shattering mental conditionings, reckless trust even when it doesn’t seem to make sense to others; and ‘foolish’ and prompt obedience. But it is the best place ever!
On this adventure, He has full permission to stop, change, cancel and reorganize my priorities. I know you may be thinking how I would cope with such unpredictability but friends, God is not in any way fickle and unpredictable. He is a God of order, balance, and rhythm. He is a God of utmost intention – strategic in His outlook, approach, and guidance. He is a High Priest that understands our human frailties and compassionately guides us beside still waters to restore our souls. Oh! He is love personified! When He says ‘stop’, just stop and ‘go’, you move. Let Him be the traffic regulatory system for your life. Honestly, there’s none more reliable! He intricately weaves the details of your life to fit your form, your skills, qualifications, experiences, passions, pain, etc. He wastes nothing! He is the Extraordinary Strategist! Your best-laid plans can never even match His!
Please don’t live life in the unproductive hustle – the frustrating trial and error that lacks His strategic approach. Let Him guide you. There’s no better way to live! Come on over to this side of surrender! He’s waiting for you. Don’t just stop here, say a prayer asking Him to help you come into this level of trust and fellowship with Him. Go ahead, He is listening; and ready to help you come deeper!
Remember,
